Therapy for Women in Midlife Who Spent Years Taking Care of Everyone Else
Virtual Therapy for Adults in New York
LMHC, Clinical Supervisor
There’s a moment a lot of women describe that doesn’t really have a name, but they know it when it shows up.
You’re sitting in the car after drop-off and there’s no rush to be anywhere next. Instead of feeling relaxed, your mind starts going, “Okay… what am I supposed to be doing right now?”
Or you’re standing in the kitchen after everything is finally done and your first thought is not “I can rest,” it’s “I probably forgot something.” So you pick up your phone, start scrolling, start cleaning again, or just keep moving because stopping feels strange.
Or it’s late at night and you’re tired, but your brain is still running through the day like: “I should’ve said that differently.”“Did I come off wrong?”“Did I handle that right?”“What do I need to fix tomorrow?”
What Brings Someone Into Therapy at This Stage
Most people don’t come in because of one moment. It builds.
- You notice you’re getting irritated over small things that normally wouldn’t bother you.
- You’re exhausted even on days that “weren’t that bad.”
- You agree to things and immediately feel that tight stomach feeling afterward.
- You’re constantly thinking through what other people need from you next.
- You go to respond to a text and somehow spend 20 minutes overthinking how to say it.
- You feel like you’re moving through your life, but not really in it.
And THEN at some point it hits: “I can’t keep doing this the same way.”
How We Work Together
Therapy with me is very real-life focused.
We look at the moments where you know what you want to do, but something keeps getting in the way. Maybe you're about to say no and hear yourself saying yes instead. Maybe you spend hours thinking about a conversation long after it's over. Or maybe you finally have a moment to yourself and immediately start focusing on what needs to be done next.
We slow those moments down so you can better understand what's happening instead of only realizing it after you're already overwhelmed.
A lot of our work focuses on recognizing the thoughts, emotions, and patterns that show up when you begin doing things differently. Things like setting boundaries, asking for help, taking up space, resting, or prioritizing your own needs.
We also work with the thoughts that tend to loop in the background:
"I shouldn't feel this way."
"I should be handling this better."
"I can't mess this up."
If trauma is part of your story, we don't rush into anything. We start by helping you feel more grounded day-to-day so difficult emotions and experiences don't feel like they take over everything else.
My approach includes trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, attachment-focused work, cognitive coping strategies, psychoeducation, and strengths-based support. Together, we focus on understanding why certain patterns developed and what to do when they show up in everyday life.
Why Tessa Is a Strong Fit for This Work
Most women I work with are the person everyone relies on. They're responsible, thoughtful, and used to carrying a lot.
Many already know what healthy boundaries are. The challenge is what happens when guilt, anxiety, or old patterns show up the moment they try to set one.
That's often where the work begins.
We focus on noticing what's happening in real time. Catching the guilt before it takes over. Recognizing when you're taking responsibility for something that isn't yours. Learning how to make different choices without immediately second-guessing yourself.
You don't have to carefully script what you say in therapy or show up with everything figured out. There's space to be honest about what's working, what's not, and what you're tired of carrying.
Over time, many clients find they spend less energy overthinking, less time feeling responsible for everyone else's needs, and more time feeling connected to their own life.
Professional Background
I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York and a Clinical Supervisor with training in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT).
I hold a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, an Advanced Certificate in Interdisciplinary Trauma Studies from SUNY Oswego, and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from SUNY Plattsburgh.
I work with adults navigating long-standing trauma patterns, anxiety, identity shifts, and relational challenges across different stages of life.